


It's not what it looks like!

by Scinon



Series: Oneshots [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alive Carla, Alternate Universe - College/University, Attempt at Humor, Crossdressing, F/M, Forced Crossdressing, Grisha Yeager's Bad Parenting, M/M, Mild Smut, Nickelback, oh my god where to start
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-27
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-11 15:24:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4441067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scinon/pseuds/Scinon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carla and Grisha decide to pay Eren a visit and meet his soon-to-be... wife?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's not what it looks like!

Levi had only just set foot back in the department he shared with his boyfriend, Eren, who had some interesting news for the unsuspected midget.  
  
"Levi!" He shouted as he ran from the kitchen to the door hurriedly, holding what looked like a slightly creased letter in his hand that Levi didn't pay much attention to.  
  
A loud groan left the raven in response as he turned to look at him none-too-eagerly. "What?" He said as he made his way over to the kitchen, stopping by the coffee maker to pour some of the leftover, morning coffee in a cup.  
  
"My parents are coming to visit!" Eren replied in an instant, giving off an angsty aura as he followed the other.  
  
The shorter man rolled his eyes. "Took them fucking forever too. So?" He took a sip of black coffee.  
  
"They... want to meet my girlfriend." Eren said and it took all of Levi's resolve not to spit his coffee back out. But it wasn't enough so he ended up spraying it all over the once clean sink anyway.  
  
"Say what now?" He muttered with widened eyes and he could feel that his left one was twitching.  
  
"Don't worry, I think I've got this. I've got this classmate, Annie. I'll call her and ask her to-"  
  
"No."  
  
"No?"  
  
"You are not bringing some random chick in the house and definitely not getting all mushy mushy with said chick." He said sternly.  
  
"But my parents are coming tomorrow and I can't tell them I'm gay! Especially for you!"  
  
"I know, okay? I know!" Levi bit down on his bottom lip, recalling on his encounters with Eren's parents. They hadn't met under the best circumstances and for some reason, every attempt Levi made to make a better impression failed miserably, making them despise him even more.  
  
Like that one time, two years ago, when he got Carla a beautiful bouquet of roses. It was going well until he told her to smell them, the poor woman did so and suddenly had a huge, black spider jumping on her nose. 'It's not what it looks like.' Levi had tried to explain but only got the door shut in his face.  
  
Another time, he tried to stop a bunch of gangsters from vandalizing Grisha's car. By the time Grisha had arrived after hearing all the noise, Levi was the only one left at the crime scene. 'It's not what it looks like.' He had tried to explain yet again as he was handing the doctor the broken mirror of what used to be a vehicle.  
  
"So, what's your idea?" Eren said, interrupting his thoughts.  
  
"I don't have one."  
  
They both thought for a moment in silence until it was broken by the snap of Eren's fingers.  
  
"I know!" He said enthusiastically.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Is Mikasa still at work?"  
  
"She has the day off today. Why?"  
  
Eren wiggled his eyebrows in response, a smug smirk appearing on his lips.  
  
"Hell no!" Levi refused in realisation.  
  
"It's either that or Annie."  
  
"Oh my god, fine. I'm only doing this for Katja."  
  
"Carla." Eren corrected.  
  
"That. But I won't be held responsible if anything goes wrong! You won't blame me if Grisha gets a heart attack and you get stuck with a crying Cara."  
  
"Carla!"  
  
"That!"  
  


* * *

  
"Are you ready?"  
  
"I was born ready."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Come on..." Eren practically purred, his back pressed against the wall by the door of their bedroom. "Don't be so negative."  
  
"Friendly reminder, I am to blame for nothing that happens to Grisha and Kaya."  
  
"Carla." Eren corrected him -yet again- with a sigh, his arms crossed over his chest.  
  
At last, the door opened and Levi presented himself in black thigh-high socks, a red plaid mini skirt, black crop top and a bunch of waist long, black hair extensions. Eren was astonished by how well Levi pulled that look off. It confused his sexuality in the wrongest of ways.  
  
"Remind me to kill you after this."  
  
"I will." Eren muttered, his mouth gaping open as he noticed the detail on his boyfriends face. His eyelashes were thicker and longer, cheeks rosy and lips glossy, begging to be kissed. "And I will enjoy every second of it."  
  
Levi simply rolled his eyes and went to the living room to make sure everything was perfect. Right then, they both heard the doorbell ring and Eren nearly had a panic attack. Fortunately, Levi knew how to slap those away for him.  
  
"Okay, remember to keep quiet! And don't let my mom go to any of the rooms. And leave all the questions to me, alright?" He went over the plan once more before opening the door. "Here it goes!"  
  
"Eren, my baby!" Carla exclaimed when she saw him open the door, quickly pulling him into a warm embrace. Grisha simply looked unfazed, holding a bakery box that most likely contained dips for their coffee.  
  
"Hey, mum, dad." Eren said, leaving his mother's arms to lead them inside.  
  
"So, where is she?" Carla's curiosity showed immediately and Eren simply continued walking towards the living room where Levi was already serving the coffee.  
  
"Oh dear! She looks lovely!" The mother stated enthusiastically and rushed to assist Levi. "What's your name, sweetie?" She asked and Levi turned to shoot a look of horror at Eren.  
  
"H-her name's... Titania!" Eren said the first name that came to his mind, earning a soft 'the fuck' from his girlfriend.  
  
"That's some name." Grisha said, adjusting his glasses as he took a seat.  
  
"Just like any other." His son giggled nervously.  
  
"And what's your occupation, dear? Are you Eren's classmate?"  
  
Levi shook his head. "She's a year younger than me so we are not so much as classmates. But we go to the same college."  
  
"Eren, dear, would you mind? She can speak for herself, can't she?" Carla argued as Grisha carefully watched behind his scary, shiny glasses.  
  
"She can! She's just shy... That's all."  
  
"Maybe it's the teenage hormones." Grisha suggested.  
  
And the merciless interrogation continued with Eren being evasive, Grisha quiet and Carla unstoppable. Levi was just trying his hardest to stay in character but with the way things were going, he had to excuse himself every now and then. Take a break in the kitchen.  
  
The weird, repetitive thuds heard when he went there were slightly disturbing to the older couple and Eren himself, but no one questioned them.  
  
But Levi, or rather 'Titania', seemed to be getting more irritable by the minute. So the next time she excused herself, Eren did too. "I think I should go help her out a bit. It'll only take a minute."  
  
He sneaked up on Levi to see him bang his head against the wall three times, then he stopped and rubbed his forehead.  
  
"What are you doing?" Eren asked, concerned.  
  
"Something got in my eye."  
  
"And you're throwing it at the wall?"  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"What's wrong?" Eren said, walking up behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist to pull him close.  
  
"I'm just tired and your mom's giving me a headache. Are they going to leave any time soon? It's been three hours."  
  
"You haven't been listening, have you?"  
  
"Give me a good reason why I would have wanted to."  
  
"Because I might have told them to stay for dinner..."  
  
"You did... what?" His voice shook and eyes widened.  
  
"Hey, come on. You've had worse. You can take it."  
  
"I am supposedly dating you for the better. But not for long at this rate."  
  
"Awh, come on. You're just nervous. I know how to make it better." He said and unzipped his jeans. "Think you can keep quiet?"  
  
"Tch." Levi said, turning his head to the side.  
  
"Good." Eren smirked and grabbed Levi's wrists, turning him around to force his chest against the wall and pin his hands over his head.  
  
He thrust into him slowly at first but quickly picked up the pace as he felt Levi brush up against him to get more friction. "You look stunning like this." Eren told him as he grabbed a fistful of his soft, synthetic hair and tugged at it, causing Levi to moan slightly louder than he should.  
  


* * *

  
"Did you... hear that?" Carla asked Grisha, eyebrows raised in concern.  
  
The creepy dad adjusted his glasses once more before standing up and heading to where 'that' seemed to be coming from. His wife followed, soon wishing she hadn't.  
  
Her scream was loud enough to make Eren and Levi jerk and cover each others' ears but still not enough to faze Grisha.  
  
"Eren Stewart Jaeger! What the fuck is going on?!"  
  
Levi uncovered one of Eren's ears to whisper into it. "Your middle name is Stewart?" He said with a smirk.  
  
"Now's not the time for that, Levi!"  
  
"Yeah, you're right." He muttered before putting on a desperate expression. "It's not what it looks like!"  
  
"You, fucking midget, are dead! You made my son block me on Facebook, made him listen to Nickelback and now you turned him gay!"  
  
"Hey, Nickelback was cool back then- Listen here, Clara, I may be wearing a skirt but that's offensive!"  
  
"It's Carla!" The Jaeger family all corrected him simultaneously.  
  
Levi turned to Eren with a look full of hurt, as if he had just been betrayed. "You too, Brutus?"  
  
Eren shook his head and turned to his parents. "I think you guys should leave for now."  
  
"I am not leaving you here with that gay cashier!"  
  
"Why is she bringing my job into this?" Levi mumbled.  
  
"I mean technically he's Titania now. Doesn't that make us both kind of straight?"  
  
"No!" Grisha and Carla argued together.  
  
"Okay, you know what? I've had it." Levi said, grabbing the biggest knife in sight and slowly approaching Carla. "Get the fuck out of my house right now, Kesha."  
  
Carla simply turned on her heel, followed by her husband, only shouting 'I will be back!' before shutting the door behind her.  
  
"Goddamn, Levi. You know, that would have been so badass if you didn't look so kawaii right now." Eren laughed.  
  
"Shut your face." Levi said, pointing the knife at the brat.  
  
Eren raised his arms in surrender, backing away slowly. "Okay, chill."  
  
Levi simply made a 'huh' sound and put the weapon back in the knife holder.  
  
"By the way, Titania." Eren said once he was out of the danger zone.  
  
"WHAT."  
  
"It's Carla." He smirked.

**Author's Note:**

> I must be stopped.


End file.
